A Look Ahead

Notre Dame and the University of Michigan just announced that they would extend their current series another twenty years, meaning that they will play each other until 2031. The current series stands at 19-14-1 in favor of Michigan, although the record since the Ford Administration is 12-10-1 in favor of Notre Dame. Here are my predictions for the series in the year 2031:


1) Notre Dame leads series 38-19-1 after a 24 game win streak which began in the last year of the Carr coaching era and lasted throughout the entire span of the Jimmy Johnson coaching era at Michigan. In desperation, coach Johnson has even persuaded the Michigan department of corrections to build a team dormitory facility on campus to allow Michigan to attract premier recruits with some societal debt.


2) Notre Dame head coach, Charlie Weis, Jr. will face rival coach, Joe Paterno, for the second time when Notre Dame plays Penn State in their first offsite meeting in Notre Dame's new 8-3-1 scheduling format. The neutral site meeting will be held in the new 95,000 capacity facility built for Indiana University at South Bend. This will be the second game played in this stadium in the 2031 season as they also face the Titans in their away opener.



3) SEC coaches make a familiar complaint about Notre Dame's recruiting advantages, due to the difficulty of getting high school athletes to consider southern locales. Once again, they cite global warming and the health affects of any skin exposure below the Mason Dixon line as unfairly hurting schools in Florida, Texas, California, and Arizona whereas students in Northern Indiana are enjoying moderate temperatures throughout the winter.

USC songgirl in year 2031

4) Officials discussed the possibility of a playoff when the current ESIFRIMIBCS (Extra Special Improved Format Really I Mean It Bowl Championship Series) expires in 2050.

Please feel free to leave your own Kreskin-like predictions in the comment section.

This is getting ridiculous

Just checking in from the road to find out that ND just landed its 19th recruit from the class of 2008, 5 star recruit LB Steven Filer from Chicago. The amount of talent landed this early is incredible. It's easy to get sucked into the hype of recruiting in this slow cycle, but it's also great to see the coaching staff getting the work of recruiting completed before the season when there is less time for wooing high school seniors.

With all the talk about the class of 2008, I thought I would take a moment to review the incoming class of 2007 which will be getting its first taste of ND practice. The reality is that very few freshman will see the field let alone make an impact. The new faces which will have the biggest impact this year will be from the sophomore class of 2006. I look forward to seeing more of James Aldridge and am hoping a Munir Prince, Barry Gallup, Conrad Reuland, or Paddy Mullen make a big impact in their sophomore campaigns.

Have Wife, Must Travel

Lite posting ahead as Q must take some time to vacate.

God put the summertime before the fall so that you could get all of those family responsibilities accomplished right before settling into the Barcalounger for the three month hibernation called college football season.

My grand experiment in learning new tricks will be tested as I try to post from the road, but for the most part, I am leaving you in Tim's capable hands.

P.S. - Tim, this posting method is not going to work.

Oooh! Pretty Charts

My dilemma for next posting fodder was solved by an anonymous commentator who posed these questions:

I think Tim should write an article about single alumni returning
to South Bend and hooking up with coeds on football weekends. More specifically,
after what age is this no longer acceptable? I had heard the formula was
(age/2)+7. Meaning a 24 year graduate could hook up with anyone who is 19 or
older. Is this accurate? Also, is there any truth to the Tawny Kitaen
exemption?

Dating age restrictions - an interesting, ethical question.

To answer these questions, I requested some help from my research assistant to evaluate the proposed formula for minimum dateable coed age. One result of this equation is that the coed pool is essentially out of dating reach for alumni at age 30 as most coeds are under the age of 22. This seemed a little harsh to my way of thinking so I constructed a 'Q curve' which took into account that males mature slower than females so the coed dating availability should be extended into mid-thirties. I also adjusted for the 'Peter Pan reality effect' which require a nonlinear escalation in middle age. The Anna Nicole Retrograde Impact was also included to acknowledge that AARP membership includes the right to no longer care just how young that trophy wife is.

Lastly, to maintain sanity, I added the 'Classmate Daughter Control Line' to confirm that no correlation allows the dating of a classmates daughter, this is violated by the Q Curve at approximately age 58 which should be an age where the threat of violent conflict is assuaged by hip replacement fears. That is, unless your classmate is Jack Palance.

Regarding the Tawny Kitaen exemption, this ruling is rarely required in circumstances surrounding single alumni attending college football games, particularly at ND. For the Whitesnake video Tawny Kitaen prospect, a general dispensation is allowed, provided that she is not the daughter of Jack Palance. For the recently incarcerated Tawny Kitaen lookalike - well, if you are asking the question, you are probably going to ignore socially acceptable guidelines, anyway.
Not the girl from the Whitesnake video

Latest Development in Vick Case

This just in . . . federal investigators acting on an anonymous tip searched Michael Vick's property in Aspen, Colorado this afternoon and uncovered startling evidence related to the Atlanta Falcon star's developing legal troubles.

Spokesperson Harold Rayman announced that detectives found kennels for over 20 dogs of the St. Bernard breed on the Vick property. Each dog was equipped with portable beverage containers worn around the neck. These containers hid a secret compartment with a small amount of dark brown particulate and a pungent arome described thus, 'looks like cannabis, smells like cannabis, smokes like cannabis'.

Will not make it through airline screening!

The dogs do not appear to have been used for purposes of fighting, rather they exhibited a very mellow, almost detached outlook. The living space for each dog contained abundant amounts of chips, pizza, and fast food wrappers as well as lava lamps and velour puppy pillows.

Neighbors mentioned that the dogs are a common sight in winter on the ski slopes, particularly near the snowboard half-pipe.

Welcome, Tim

91 Screaming Otters welcomes Tim to the staff. Tim meets our editorial requirements by (a) having a computer, (b) possessing the ability to write semi-coherent, meaningless fluff, and (c) foolishly accepting the offer.

Take it away, Tim!

Tim?

Tim?

Denson Article

The South Bend Tribune has a nice write up on Autry Denson. I especially like the description of his transformation from player to fan:

Following the Irish falls in that category. Now that his own football career is behind him, Denson plans on being a regular at Notre Dame Stadium."It's better for me to be there than watch it at home," he said.
"When I'm at home, I have this Notre Dame room, and it's just me and my son (Autry). And when the game's on, no one can call me. No one can talk to me. No one is allowed to come into the room."I was talking to (former teammate) Ron Powlus a couple of weeks ago. I told him I've turned into the guy we used to make fun of. I'm a Notre Dame fanatic. I can't help myself. I'm hopeless."

'The guy we used to make fun of' - I know of what you speak.

Autry - there's a pair of pants waiting for you at the bookstore.

PSU Rivalry Perspective

Mike on Black Shoe Diaries has written an interesting article on the ND - Penn State rivalry. He recaps the eighteen meetings between the schools and it is interesting that the majority of these games took place in the 80's through the early 90's when PSU joined the Big 10.
Better yet is his assessment of the rivalry from a Nittany Lion perspective. I think he is very correct in assuming the rivalry means more to PSU than ND and I was unaware of how the void in the PSU-Pitt rivalry has affected PSU fans. Penn State has yet to develop any serious Big Ten rivalries because they have not yet generated the beatdowns and dream-ending upsets that are the heart of a rivalry with any of their Big T(elev)en brethren.
What I do remember are the close, exciting games in the 80's. I was at many of those games and I always had a certain amount of respect for the Lions in their throwback unis and team style. JoePa takes a beating and is a cantankerous old goat, but he is /was? (if the zombie rumors are true) harder to dislike than a Schembechler or Jimmy Johnson.

ND Spirit & Spirituality: Chapter 1

This is the first of a series of posts where I will ruminate upon aspects of religion and spirituality surrounding Notre Dame and its football program. Certainly, religion has been an intrinsic part of the Notre Dame mystique and lore; from the early days of Rockne's Ramblers to current campus icons such as Touchdown Jesus and Number One Moses. How has religion influenced both fans and detractors of the football team? Does the blend of religion and football truly offer spiritual meaning or is it a mere fusing of cultural and historical symbols which create fan enthusiasm without serving spiritual progress? i.e., does the football program promote spirituality or just ND Spirit? Can it be both? Can it have multiple meanings to different people?

For the purposes of these discussions, I will use the following definitions:
Spirit - the shared feelings of passion for the university and football team
Spirituality - the personal search for meaning in one's life through contemplation and prayer
Religion - the organized creed and practices of a specific religion.

In the context of this blog, I will use the term Catholic to refer to the religious faith rather than spirituality. It should go without saying that the three are not mutually exclusive.

For example, I would consider the Leprechaun and the Notre Dame Victory March to be examples of ND Spirit - icons which are well recognized but hold no claim of spiritual or religious meaning. Such symbols are typical of most collegiate programs and is part of the quiltwork of college football pageantry which makes the game so vivid across the country.

As a counter example, the Grotto is a place on campus which is primarily spiritual. While it has elements which are specifically Catholic (statue of Virgin Mary, prayer services), it is primarily a place for quiet contemplative prayer. I would contrast this with the gameday ritual of players attending mass before every home game as, of course, a religious activity, in that it is a distinctly Catholic ceremony.

Other campus icons such as the golden dome and the name of the university themselves are tributes to the Virgin Mother, Mary. While these symbols have strong spiritual meaning, the meaning is best felt as part of the Catholic faith in that Marian beliefs and practices have a strong Catholic tradition but are less prevalent with many other Christian denominations in the US. For my purposes I will consider them primarily Catholic rather than spiritual in that they are not universally accepted symbols. (this is not thesis-worthy work, so please do not be offended if I inadvertantly misrepresent beliefs)

So where do we put other familiar campus icons such as Touchdown Jesus and Number One Moses? I believe that part of the reason for so much passion (positive and negative) about Notre Dame football is that many of the prevalent symbols can have meanings in all three areas. I will revisit some of these icons in later postings.

I imagine that some of the same reasons that attract certain people to support Notre Dame cause detractors to have an active dislike for the team. Disregarding religious affiliation and prejudices, some Catholics are leery of the identification of the team with the faith. Co-opting spiritual symbols into the realm of college football pageantry has the potential of reducing the symbol's power to inspire and/or program negative responses for opponents of the team. Beyond this, the common equating of Notre Dame as the holding some prestiged position in the Catholic faith is also poor religion. Catholicism is the largest denomination in the United States; every team in college football has Catholic players and fans, just as Notre Dame has players who are not Catholic. To claim that Notre Dame has favored status as a Catholic football institution is one of the reasons cited by ardent opponents (haters). Yet, there is clearly a following amongst Catholics that gives ND a fanbase which is far more national than most college teams. This is an area ripe for examination, as the roots of this history are as much historical and cultural as they are religious.

Does the university foster this role? The athletic programs certainly benefit from this prestiged position financially, using their broad national appeal to retain independence and negotiate its own television contracts. However, there have been signs of tension in the administration (Notre Dame is governed by the Holy Cross Order of Catholic priests) over the proper role of athletics within the university mission, which will sometimes be at odds with the football program.

The University mission statement itself expresses tension between the need to be a great learning institution and a place of free thought and belief with maintaining its Catholic beliefs and traditions. The following excerpt from the university mission statement demonstrates this:

The University of Notre Dame is a Catholic academic community of higher learning, animated from its origins by the Congregation of Holy Cross. The University is dedicated to the pursuit and sharing of truth for its own sake. As a Catholic university one of its distinctive goals is to provide a forum where through free inquiry and open discussion the various lines of Catholic thought may intersect with all the forms of knowledge found in the arts, sciences, professions, and every other area of human scholarship and creativity. The intellectual interchange essential to a university requires, and is enriched by, the presence and voices of diverse scholars and students.
The Catholic identity of the University depends upon, and is nurtured by, the continuing presence of a predominant number of Catholic intellectuals. This ideal has been consistently maintained by the University leadership throughout its history. What the University asks of all its scholars and students, however, is not a particular creedal affiliation, but a respect for the objectives of Notre Dame and a willingness to enter into the conversation that gives it life and character. Therefore, the University insists upon academic freedom which makes open discussion and inquiry possible.

Notre Dame is dedicated to being both a world class university and provide an environment where spirituality can flourish. It is not particularly evangelical, but rather provides opportunities for faith and allows individuals to choose their own level of involvement. There is a fair range in the approach to religion amongst Catholic universities in the United States, and Notre Dame is considerably more secular than institutions where formation plays a central role, such as Franciscan University or Ave Maria University. I believe that the university stays mostly silent on the more blatant secular uses of religious symbols surrounding the football team while providing opportunities to fans and students alike to find some spiritual meaning in the experience of the university. I also believe that it is this distinction which makes the 'ND Spirit' a unique phenomenom in college football and drives so much passion in its fans. Even those who can't vebalize it, often describe the ND experience with feelings of attachment which go beyond team loyalty.

WFL Fallout

The NFL Europe recently announced that it would be ceasing competition. The NFL indicates that Europe's insatiable demand for all things American will be met by having (up to) two regular season games held internationally per year. The debut comes in October when the Giants meet the Dolpins in London. This announcement was met with disappointment by British football hooligans, who had hoped for the Cincinnati Bengals, a team with a large following in British football circles.
London Footballers hold candlelight vigil for Bengals
With any corporate closing, there are jobs and lives affected. Some players in NFL Europe have a chance to land on an NFL roster and others may find work in the new All American Football League. I had my research assistant break down the NFL Europe rosters to see what schools will be working overtime:

Conference	# of players on NFL Europe rosters
ACC	30
Big T(elev)en	26
SEC	26
Pac 10	25
Big 12	22
Big East	19
Mountain West	16
Conference USA	14
WAC	11
Independent	4
Div I-AA	43
Div 2	21
Div 3	5
International	44
Other	4

The schools with 3 or more former players are:

6 - South Carolina (apparently, the good people have already prepared for the coming rush. )


5 - Georgia Tech, San Diego State, Syracuse, Virginia Tech
4 - Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Oklahoma, Oregon State, Penn State, Pittsburgh, South Florida, Tennessee, Texas Tech, Virginia, Wyoming
3 - Arizona St, Boise St, UConn, Florida, Maryland, Memphis, North Carolina, Oklahoma St, Rutgers, USC, Southern Miss, Temple, Tennessee St, Utah, Washington St, Wisconsin

The lone ND player is kicker D.J. Fitzpatrick. Perhaps he will catch on with that other European football, I would think they would need some kickers. I was hoping to be able to make some clever analysis of this data, but couldn't come up with anything insightful or clever (mea culpa). If anyone has any thoughts that make Michigan and USC (not the gamecocks - who cares) look bad, leave them in the comments. In other words, this is meaningless statistics with no value. Good to see I can live up to my mission statement.

Notre Dame Football Returns

During this slow football news period, I would like to welcome the return of football to Notre Dame. Rugby football, that is.

This past spring the Notre Dame Rugby Football Club (NDRFC) was reinstated after 12 years of banishment for 'inexcusable misconduct'. Office of Student Life official, Dean Wormer reportedly said the NDRFC was responsible for excessive drinking, poor grades, consorting with his relatives, and cruelty to animals.


91 Screaming Otters salute the efforts of the current team members and wish them luck this season. Faugh a Ballaugh!

Last Notre Dame Football team to win at Ohio State.

A Pause for Reflection

Not much one can add to this article.

While it is fun to make caricatures of coaches, Charlie's daughter is a humanizing gift which is a lesson to all.

It's important to be reminded of life's true lessons from time to time. We, as ND fans, should probably consider that rival teams and coaches have similar stories before we apply our scorn and ridicule.

Of course, after consideration, we will smear them anyway - but with empathy.

A Sensible Proposal

July is the famine times for college football fans. The afterglow of bowl and NFL season leads into the March Madness. April through June bring the start of baseball season and the distraction of the NBA and NHL playoffs as well as the professional drafts. The past football season has faded (we lost in the Sugar Bowl?) and the hope that comes with a new season is still a mirage on the horizon. The preseason magazines are like a billboard for an oasis in the desert.

Water Ahead! Only Ten More Weeks!

But July is only baseball (sorry NASCAR, golf, and tennis have no interest for me) and next weekend is the absolute slowest weekend in sports when baseball turns to the All Star break and we don't even get a full slate of games. At this time of years, ESPN is basically hoping that Terrell Owens or Pacman Jones will feed the media beast with some story because otherwise they are just shouting down the well.

So what to do? I am a casual baseball fan and my interest only rises later in the season when the pennant races are heating up. I watch games in July, but only with a halfhearted interest.

Then it struck me - why not play the baseball playoffs in July and August? The most exciting time of the baseball season has to compete for attention with the two behemoths of American sport in September and August (college football and NFL). If MLB moved the playoffs to start in July, they would have the spotlight to themselves and the ratings of playoff games would go through the roof. In August, the only competition is the preseason football and training camps, but the baseball series would still be top dog. Finish the world series by Labor Day and baseball will at least own the summer.

But wait, Quixotehan, that would mean shortening the season by half. What of all the lost revenue?

The answer - start the next season the week after Labor Day. You can still play into November, but now the meaningless first half of the season is played in the fall, the players take a winter break and play resumes in the Spring in the midst of the pennant races. The diehards in the fall are in their season of new hope, so maybe people will even go to Devil Ray games again as they could be at the head of the division in late October. In the spring, the games are more meaningful and momentum builds until the playoffs.

Unconventional, yes. Inspired, absolutely. For providing this brilliant solution, I only ask for World Series tickets in perpetuity and 1% gross of April gate receipts. Or one year of A-Rod's salary.

The Boom King

Click here to play.

Sorry, Bret - the position has already been taken.

Meet Tom Zbikowski, the true Boom King.

Penn State Traveller's Guide

For those planning to go to Happy Valley, you should know that the location is a bit off the beaten path. It is a modern mystery how 93,967 fans fill the stadium for every home game, although it is suspected that 99.9% of the seats are filled by students and citizens of the local gulag system. The other mystery is why the Stadium is named Beaver Stadium when the team is the Penn State Nittany Lions. Our research has discovered that the name is taken from a local high school team, the Mountamany HS Beavers, which shares the stadium with the university.

Satellite image of State College at night - bring your own candles.

As a public service, here are travel directions from South Bend for planning purposes. Many GPS services do not have service in this area, so please read through these carefully.

Click on image to enlarge

The better option is to fly directly into State College. The one airline serving this market, CCBB Airways, flies direct from Scranton once per week. Seating is limited, so please make reservations early.

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Airways - Official Airline of the Nittany Lions!

Happy 4th of July

First, the fireworks.

(a short round of applause for my first video posting)

In other news, Blue & Gold reports the second ND Kickoff and Charity Concert featuring Umphrey's McGee.

However, don't forget to check out The Tossers, the official band of 91 Screaming Otters.

Frazer Transfer Official

Well, it's official.

Zach Frazer transferred to UConn.

Here's best wishes to Zach (and his family), who handled this decision with class.

Let's take this a little bit further. . .

Interesting proposal from the Geetar here to utilize ticket technology at ND in a whole variety of ways. The idea of an electronic ID to replace tickets has some advantages, but I am not too far removed from my days at the university to be concerned with some of the Big Brother implications. However, if this were its intended use. . .

While it would be possible for card owners to convert their seats into regular tickets, they would have to go through the ticket office to do so. If a card owner used this process an excessive number of times, it would give the ticket office the sufficient red flag to check out how the seats were being used. It would also give ushers a list of tickets that had been converted from cardholder to paper, giving them the opportunity to see how those seats were being used. If visiting fans were turning up in those seats every week....

No more sea of red in our own stadium - awesome! We could take this a few steps further and track decibel levels from different seating sections to rate fan enthusiasm. Maybe pressure sensors in the wooden benches to see who hasn't stood for the entire game. I'm coming around as long as the right Big Brother is watching.
Send a volley cheer on high . . or else!