Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Latest Development in Vick Case

This just in . . . federal investigators acting on an anonymous tip searched Michael Vick's property in Aspen, Colorado this afternoon and uncovered startling evidence related to the Atlanta Falcon star's developing legal troubles.

Spokesperson Harold Rayman announced that detectives found kennels for over 20 dogs of the St. Bernard breed on the Vick property. Each dog was equipped with portable beverage containers worn around the neck. These containers hid a secret compartment with a small amount of dark brown particulate and a pungent arome described thus, 'looks like cannabis, smells like cannabis, smokes like cannabis'.
Will not make it through airline screening!
The dogs do not appear to have been used for purposes of fighting, rather they exhibited a very mellow, almost detached outlook. The living space for each dog contained abundant amounts of chips, pizza, and fast food wrappers as well as lava lamps and velour puppy pillows.

Neighbors mentioned that the dogs are a common sight in winter on the ski slopes, particularly near the snowboard half-pipe.

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